Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Congratulations! We have a period
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
