we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Come on in and take your pants off
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