Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
