Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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