Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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