So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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