there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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