i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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