clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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