How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
