Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
