Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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