..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
4 words: hood of his car
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
