No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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