So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize