Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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