Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
