the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
