Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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