If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
