How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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