yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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