it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
