Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
