i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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