Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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