So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
