I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize