there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
