Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize