It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
