Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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