I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
