Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize