He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
