Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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