carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
