it was like his penis was on wheels.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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