Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize