Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
