AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
