I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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