you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
