someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
