remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
