Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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