i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
