By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
