he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
