is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
