God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
