Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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