ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
