I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
