someone owes me an orgasm
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think a kid would responsible me up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
