how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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