Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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