You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize