I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
