remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
nutella sex= disaster
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
