His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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