I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
