there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize