Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
