She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
