I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
