it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it hurts more in the daytime
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
