Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
