Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
