Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize