Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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