K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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