If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm both gender and math confused
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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