Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
